I was SO fucking angry for things that happened to me early in my life.
Anyone looking in from the outside would have wondered where it came from, since I had very loving parents and never endured any outward abuse or obvious trauma.
But trauma isn’t what happens to you — it’s how you *interpret* what happens to you, and what it means to you.
Trauma is what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you.
This is why two people can experience identical situations or events, yet only one develops a deep trauma or scar that influences or otherwise drags them down them their entire life.
I grew up a very lonely, scared little boy and developed a rage early on. Because the world wasn’t fair, it wasn’t safe, and I couldn’t rely on anyone.
No one ’caused’ this or was to blame — which made it all the worse, because a small child can only draw one conclusion when they feel bad about themselves — it must be their own fault. When I get into deeper conversations with people, it is so often the case that they are carrying around crippling emotions that have been with them for many years.
And all of the negative, debilitating emotions one can feel boil down to the 3 big ones: ANGER. SADNESS. FEAR.
Because those emotions are so uncomfortable — and because so many children are taught to hide their emotions or avoid them — we become experts at burying them and trying to pretend they’re not there.
We get so good at it that we convince ourselves that we don’t feel these things.
I would have argued to my death that I didn’t have anger or sadness inside me.
It took a lot of work and patience to be able to acknowledge and begin to process these deeply painful things.
It can help to work with someone compassionate and capable that knows how to build a safe container where these conversations can happen.
It definitely isn’t an easy part of doing your own work .. but if you find yourself in a place where you’re stuck, you’re feeling “flat lined”, you’re uninspired .. or it’s manifesting as anxiety, depression or something worse ..
.. start here: Carve some time out, and have a conversation with your deeper, authentic self. Use some of the extraordinary tools that ancient wisdom and science have endowed us with.
Sit quietly with a journal and listen carefully.
With compassionate curiosity, explore where you might be feeling old emotions that you’ve been carrying for so long.
Because if you can be honest with yourself and start to uncover these hidden pockets of pain, the truth absolutely can start to set you free.